Silences That Scream Her Name
by psssh
Summary: I love her. I love Sharpay. She's my sole reason for living. But it's so wrong. So very wrong... NOTE: RATED M FOR A REASON. TWINCEST.


**Silences That Scream Her Name  
By Kill Scott**

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Dislaimer: I don't own anything to do with High School Musical. I don't own any part of Disney. Sad, huh? I would be so rich if I owned even a part of Disney... 

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It's late at night, as always, and I'm laying awake, listening to the slow, smooth jazz that drifts to me from my parent's room. Crickets are chirping.

_sharpay_

It's late at night, as always, and I'm thinking of her, and feeling myself sweat as I yearn for her. The sounds of my parents' lovemaking is turning me on, as disgusting as it sounds, and I grip my sheet tightly.

_innocent but guilty_

She's making me fall for her. She _has_ been for the past... Forever. I've wanted her always, but it's always late at night when I want her the most.

_makes me sweat_

Always the vixen, she always knows what kind of clothese to wear to make any guy want her. But she's persistent in keeping her innocence until she meets that one guy. The perfect guy. The guy she calls 'The One'.

_dont do this_

All the sounds are drowned out of my mind and I cringe as I begin fantasizing. It's involuntary. I don't want to do this every night, but I do. I don't want to pleasure only myself every night, but I do. I have absolutely no choice. I never have.

_love is evil_

I struggle to turn myself off, my sex drive, but I'm unsuccessful. My hard-on is throbbing. My thighs tingle. I can't help it. She's too beautiful. As I begin stroking myself inside my pajama pants, I see a light illuminate the tree outside her window. What is she doing up?

_light my way_

I climb out of bed slowly and approach my window, opening it carefully. It squeaks a bit and I wince, but no one seems to notice. Soon I'm outside, creeping slowly toward her window.

_is it gone_

She's sitting at her computer by the left side of her pink room, IM'ing someone on her laptop. I can see who she's talking to. Gabriella. I sigh. I don't like that girl, the girl who stole all of Sharpay's lead roles... I stood there and watched as Sharpay typed quickly and urgently to Gabriella. What's she saying?

_its too soon_

She picks up her can of diet soda and brings it to her mouth, taking a gentle sip. Everything she does is gentle. I see her scratch her head quickly before she types again. What's the hurry?

_world falls down_

Sharpay slumps down on her computer, head in arms. She seems so sad, I just want to run to her and hug her. But I can't. It would be too odd. It was strange enough that I was standing outside her window in the middle of the night...

_what is this_

She's typing again, and I strain to read the tiny lines of print. I can't. And she's in despair again, and I see a tear escape her eye. She looks so different in her bathrobe. Out of place, maybe. I almost tap the glass of her window to make her look up so I can supply an encouraging smile, but I don't. I can't.

_smile for me_

A fleeting hope leaves me. She's flat out crying. I wonder why. But I see why. Her last IM to Gabriella says six words: I know he won't love me. Who is she talking about? Me? No. I love her. Too much, I love her. She just doesn't know. She can't know. She must be talking about someone else. Another guy at school.

_love me please_

Her computer blips as another IM flashes on her screen. It's from Taylor. I blanch. It's that science girl. I don't like her either. All the IM says is 'whats up?'. You'd think Einstein there would know how to use apostrophes. Sharpay ignores Taylor and reumes her conversation with Gabriella.

_its better now_

I want to run inside her room so badly and give her a kiss on the cheek, but I contain myself. It's so hard. I see her pull a tissue out of nowhere and wipe away her tears, but more leak out of her eyes to replace the ones she had just wiped away.

_no more crying_

It's cold outside, but I don't care. All I care about is Sharpay. And now she's crying. I don't know why. Was there even a real reason? I feel goosebumps rise on my arms and I shiver, but I continue staring at Sharpay. She's intoxicating.

_never do that_

Her next IM reads 'He doesn't love me now. When will he love me later?'. I wonder who she's talking about. I hope it's not me. I would feel horrible.

_never say that_

Sharpay's suddenly turning off the computer and jumping in bed. It's uneventful now. Nothing for me to find out. But as I turn to leave, I see Sharpay take off her bathrobe and I stop. It's almost too much to bear. I stand. In the cold, in my flimsy t-shirt and silk pajama bottoms, I stand. And only for her. Only for Sharpay.

_just know this_

She takes off her pajama pants and my breath catches in my throat. It's hard for me to stay in control. I manage. Her light is off and I struggle to maintain my vision as she slides off her button-up pajama shirt. My breaths come ragged.

_always know this_

I know it's wrong. It's so wrong for me to do this, to feel like this. But I can't help it. Love is what it is. If only it wasn't.

_listen to me_

She'll never find out. She'll never love me like I love her. I'm dismayed. But I always put on an act. She wants me to be happy. But does she really? I want so badly to tap on the glass and make her turn around. I can't. I want to, but I can't.

_never forget this_

Suddenly her bra is thrown off and I let out a hiss. I've seen her with her clothes off before, but never this late at night. Her beautiful body scares me, almost. I want to climb inside her window and hug her, breathe in her scent. I want to bury my face in her neck, her hair. Those long, blond waves. I want to sleep by her every night. For some reason, I feel like I'm having an out of body experience. I watch myself in slow motion as my hand moves closer and closer to her window.

_i love you_

I tap. She turns. Her mouth forms an 'o' and I smiled timidly. I know she's disgusted. She puts her bathrobe back on and rushes to the window, opening it.

_i love you_

"What are _you _doing out there?" she whispers angrily. But she ushers me in. Without thinking, I climb inside her bedroom, my fingers and toes suddenly warming up. It stings. I attempt another smile, but it fades as I recognize the expression on her face. She's really mad. She's not faking it. I know her well enough to know when she's joking and when she's not.

_i love you_

"Seriously!" she continues, picking up her pajama pants and sliding them on under her bathrobe. "Why were you out there?"

I sit on her bed and scratch my head. This shouldn't be too hard to handle.

"I saw you turn on your light and I didn't want to get caught by the 'rents. I wanted to see what you were doing up," I mutter, looking down at my feet. I should be ashamed.

_i love you_

Her expression softens though, after she stares me down, and I smile back at her.

"I'm sorry, Sharpay," I whisper, "I didn't mean to just stand there."

_i love you_

She shrugs before sitting down next to me. "It's okay. I forgive you."

I almost laugh in relief. I never want her to be mad at me. Never. It would devastate me if she hated me.

_i love you_

Suddenly she's quiet and I wonder why. She's staring at me, and especially at my lips. I stare back.

_i love you_

I wonder if she wants to kiss me like I want to kiss her. But that can't be possible. Why would she want to? Is this more than unrequited love? I wish. I hope.

_i love you_

"Have you kissed anyone yet?" she asks, quieter than ever before. I shake my head. I'm a lip virgin, how sad. Actually, I wasn't. But how would she know?

"You want to know what it feels like?" she continues, and I nod. I want to kiss her so badly. Her eyes are drooping closed, but not in a sleepy way. She's trying to make herself look enchanting. She's succeeding.

_i love you_

She places her lips over mine, and I tingle all over, especially down south. I can't stand it. I tangle my long fingers into her soft hair, and push myself closer to her. It's nice. I've never felt this way before.

Sharpay's threading her own fingers in my now long-ish hair, and I smile inside my mind. It's nice. I like it a lot. We continue kissing, and suddenly she's trying to gain entrance into my mouth. I let her. Her warm, slick tongue is slowly filling my mouth, and I run my own tongue over hers. They're colliding.

_i love you_

I almost push myself away, but I know this is the only chance I have. I make the kiss deeper. We're laying on the bed now. I untangle my right hand from her hair and trail it down her neck and down to her hip, then I rub the topside of her thigh. She shivers under my touch. Had I gone too far? I take my hand away, but she's quick to put it back on her leg, and I giggle. Her tongue is under mine. I move my hand back up north, toward her supple breasts. I give one a gentle squeeze and she shivers again. This time I take it as a good sign. I run my hand under her bathrobe and back up to her breast, running my thumb against her erect nipple. She moans in pleasure. I feel warmth spread around my groin.

_i love you_

One of her hands seem to trail from my head toward my crotch, and I spread my legs farther so she can have better access. She chuckles and rubs my hard-on. I groan. She takes her hand and puts it under the fabric, delicately running her fingers over my penis. It feels so good.

_i love you_

I know we have to stop soon, but I don't want to. She doesn't seem to want to stop either. I take my other hand and rub her crotch, feeling dampness. She wants me. I continue rubbing until she can't take it anymore and I take my hand and put it under the fabric. I feel the heat before I get there. Her entrance is saturated with her own juices. I nibble her lip before I stick one finger inside her. She moans.

_i love you_

She's stroking me faster now, and I moan too, feeling the vibration of her moans make my mouth tingle. It's nice. Her entrance is flexing, and I know I need to enter her soon. I pull myself away from her and stare into her eyes. She nods. I take off my shirt quickly and slide out of my pajama bottoms, revealing my pale skin. She takes off her bathrobe and pajama pants and I can see her own ivory skin. She's so beautiful. She's climbing in under her covers and I follow. We're connected again at the mouth. She pants as I slide another finger in, thrusting. She glides her hand over my erection. I moan in disappointment. I know she can do better.

_i love you_

I'm sticking three fingers inside her now, and she's clenching herself around me. I'm ready. She lets my penis go free and I clamber on top of her, steadying myself before I stare into her eyes again. She nods a second time. She's ready. I slowly ease myself into her and she lets out a hiss, placing her hands on my butt cheeks. She scratches at them as I thrust into her.

_i love you_

The feeling of pleasure is amazing. I can't help but moan loudly. I'm sure no one can hear. She closes her eyes and scratches my butt again, making me bite her neck. I thrust harder and farther into her, making her yelp. It's fun to do. She thinks I don't know what I'm doing, but she's so wrong. I know exactly what I'm doing. She's moaning for me now.

_i love you_

I'm thrusting so fast now, and sweat runs down my body and drips onto her. I gasp as she clenches her walls around me. She bites my nipple lightly. It feels like liquid fire is pulsating in my body. I thrust one last time as we both find euphoria, and we moan. Synchronized moans.

_i love you_

I collapse on top of her and she groans, whispering for me to take it out. I slide out of her and lay beside her. I smile as she stares into my eyes.

"I love you," I mutter before sleep consumes me, "I love you so much."

I'm drifting farther now, and I can barely hear anything, but I hear one thing.

"I love you too, Ryan," she whispers.

_i love you_

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**The End**


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